Defeaning
by Azurey Skies
Summary: Italy receives news of Holy Rome's faith. France wants to make him stop crying as the sound deafens him and reminds him of his own memories of losing Jeanne. ChibitaliaHRE FrUK FrancexJeanne oneshot? T just in case


**disclaimer: APH does not belong to me**

**okay..I'm pretty tired but I couldn't sleep until I got this out of my mind. This was highly inspired by... I have no clue anymore and I forgot o_o;; I'm currently half asleep (lol in about three hours the sun is gonna rise...well from where I live) I'm sorry for grammatical errors, I shall fix it in 7 hours or so when I wake up. **

**warning: Character death... and some sort of abuse?**

**pairings: HRE Chibitalia, FrUK, AustriaHungary**

**Oneshot?**

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><p>It was deafening. For once, and probably the only time in his life, he wanted to hit Italy. "shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up" he muttered he couldn't handle it. It reminded him too much. Just too much of himself, when <em>she <em>died, when _he_ left. "Shut up" France would mutter every time he heard the young nation cry.

"You're lying!" Italy yelled. "Holy Rome is alive! He has to be! He promised me! He promised me that he'll be back! He promised me-" Italy was interrupted by Austria.

"I'm sorry Italy but you'll have to believe us, Holy Rome is gone" he said, he didn't know how to say it other wise. Italy turned to Hungary. Hungary in return looked down, and nodded her head.

"Atleast he's in a better place now right Ita-chan?" Hungary asked as she opened her arms up.

"B-b-b-b-ut" When France heard Italy muttered he got up, and left the room with a loud bang as he closed the door. Prussia looked at the door and sighed.

"I'll be right back you two, you should take care of Italy for now" Prussia said. As Prussia left the house to find France, Austria stopped him.

"Be careful" he whispered. "We really shouldn't look for France when he's acting like this, but he's probably the only one who can cheer Italy up" Prussia nodded and left.

* * *

><p>France kicked the tree in front of him.<p>

"Merde, Merde, Merde, Merde, Merde" he kept muttering.

"Keep it up and England would rush here. Hug that tree, claim that it is the home of a fae and beat you up" A voice said. France looked back and saw Prussia.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. Prussia smiled.

"To get you what else?" Prussia asked. France glared at him.

"Why are you not mad at me?" France asked. Prussia sighed.

"He may be gone because of you, but I won't blame you for it" Prussia said. "Things happen for a purpose" he said. "I know that his death wouldn't go to waste" Prussia said. France looked at him in an odd manner.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Prussia smiled.

"His symbol, it's a bird" he said. "But to me, at a time like this, I think it's a phoenix, he will rise back from his ashes" Prussia said. "I believe that Holy Rome will live again, but not as Holy Rome, but as someone new, someone better, and this time he wouldn't leave Ita-chan" Prussia said. France gawked at him. Prussia smiled. "I know I probably sounded stupid, that would be something England would say" Prussia said. "What do you say?" he asked. "Ita-chan will need his elder brother to be with him, you are the country of love am I right?" Prussia asked. France chuckled at the mention of his self claimed title.

"I say that Ita-chan has been spending too much time with us German nations, it's about time he spends it with Romantic ones no?" he asked. France nodded.

"I'm sorry for storming out" France said. Prussia smiled.

"No need to apologize to me, you need to apologize to Ita-chan" Prussia said. "C'mon let's go" Prussia said as he turned around, "I'll call England later to see the damage you did and to see if you messed with a spirit" he said. France smiled and followed Prussia.

"Can you do me one favor?" France asked.

"What is it?"

"Can you not mention Angleterre right now?" France asked. "I really don't want to think about the nation that Napoleon can't seem to conquer" he said.

"sure…"Prussia said, he knew there was other reasons, but at the same time He didn't want to push it.

When they got home, Italy ran straight towards France.

"Don't' leave me ever again!" he yelled.

"Ita-chan, I still have things to do at my place, I'll have to go back now" Prussia said.

"Come back okay?" Italy said. Prussia nodded as he closed the door.

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><p>"Why don't you stay for the night?" Hungary asked France. France looked up from the pot he was cooking. "I don't think that would be a great idea" he said. Hungary frowned.<p>

"Why not?" she asked. "I think you can relate to Italy the most right now" she said.

"Why do you think that?" France asked.

"Because I know that you won't touch Austria, and I know about Jeanne" she said in a whisper. "I honestly think you can relate to Italy, be there for him will you?" she asked. "I mean he is born under Rome and yet he spends his time with us, Germans, not that it matters, I just think you know, siblings would be able to handle this a lot better" she said. "Plus I can't bring myself to be around Ita-chan" Hungary said.

"Why?" France asked.

"I'm happily married to Austria" Hungary said. "I honestly think that if Ita-chan sees me with him…it might trigger you know" she said as she turned to face France. France did not look from the pot.

"I guess you're right" France said. "Plus he has the right to know who killed him"

"I'd rather you not tell him"

"he'll find out some day, Italy may be slow, but he's smart" France said. Hungary sighed.

"Suit yourself" she said as she exited the kitchen. France stopped and looked at the window in front of him, he then looked at the stew he was cooking. He sighed and finished up cooking.

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><p>France sighed. No matter what they did Italy's mood would not rise, hell Austria even allowed France to cook pasta for the nigth. The poor pre-adolescent boy was moping around and looking up at the sky. France was about to go bed when he saw Italy sitting in the library.<p>

"Ita-chan you should sleep" He said as he entered the room. France looked and saw Italy's eyes. The amber ores were glossy and rimmed with red hue. France furrowed his eyebrows together. He went towards the encasement window, picked Italy up and settled him on his lap. He tucked Italy's head underneath his chin and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry" he began. Italy looked up at him.

"Why?" he asked.

"It's my fault that he died" France said bluntly, he was waiting for it, those words. He looked down to see fresh new tears rolling down Italy's cheeks. He sighed and prepared himself for the worst. "I'm sorry Italy, Napoleon, he was very persistent, and so was I, I didn't think that our victory would've ended in a dissolution of the Holy Roman Empire" he said. He felt Italy bury his head into his chest.

"I'm glad that both of you didn't die" Italy said. France looked at him shock.

"you're not mad at me?" he asked. Italy shook his head.

"I am mad at you" he said. France sighed. "But I'm not going to show it" Italy said. "I don't want to tell you that I hate you France-nii-chan" Italy said. "nothing is born from hate" Italy muttered. "I'm just happy that you are alive France" he sobbed. "If I lost you two all together, I wouldn't know what to do" Italy said. France froze. "I have a feeling that if I say 'I hate you' I will lose you…and I don't want that" Italy said. France sighed. He was relieved that Italy didn't say that he hates him, but something tore his heart. He remembered something, a distant memory.

"Have you ever lost someone important to you?" Italy asked. France froze, he let Italy continue. "and someone precious to you is the cause of their death" France sighed and tensed. He didn't give Italy a an answer verbally, but he did nod his head.

"Who?" Italy asked. France sighed, he didn't want to tell a sob story, but if Italy wanted to know, he is willing to tell the sad love story.

"You really want to know?" France asked. Italy nodded. France closed his eyes as he imagined the landscape. He then began to brush Italy's hair with his hand.

"It was Jeanne" he whispered. "Joan D'Arc" he said. Italy didn't move. "She was a beautiful girl, I found her quite charming" France said. "I couldn't help but fall for her" he said. "I mean it was during the Hundred Years War" he muttered. "England and I were fighting back then, and well let's just say there was love between us, but the war was causing us to drift apart" France said. He opened his eyes and looked out at the starry night sky. "I couldn't help but fall for her, I mean she was saving me, France, and she believed in me." he said.

"What happened?" Italy asked. France frowned at the memory.

"she died" France said. "I could've saved her, but I was too late." he said.

"How did she die?" Italy asked.

"She was burned at a stake" France choked out, he was holding out the tears.

"Why?"

"Because the English found her guilty" France said.

"So she died in England"

"no, she died in an English occupied territory" France said. "She died in my country" he said. Italy looked up at the sky.

"What happened between you and England after that?" he asked. France bit the his bottom lip.

"I blamed him" France said as he buried his head on top of Italy's head. "I blamed him and said I hated him and I ended my relationship with him"

"Did he have an explanation?"

"I didn't want to hear it, by the time I saw the ashes on the ground, I just turned, and ended it with him" France said. He let the tears roll down his eyes. 'I don't want to remember this feeling' France said. 'I don't want to feel this feeling anymore' he said. He closed his eyes and watched the scene unfold.

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><p><em>France made a sharp right turn into a street filled with people. Smoke, that's all he saw in the outskirts of the village and that's all it took for him know. Upon seeing the black cloud, he ran, passing, bumping and tripping over the villagers.<em>

_"JEANNE" he yelled to the top of his lungs. He soon reached the crowd crowding around the smoke. France pushed his way to the very middle, only to see a beautiful blonde tied to a stake and burning. She had a soft smile on her face as she saw him. She gave him a last apologetic look, and that's all it took for the Frenchman to go and urge some of the people to stop. He was ignored and thrown at the ground. He cursed and muttered at his own uselessness._

_As the fire died, so did the crowd. France stood in front of the ashes of his beloved girl. He noticed a small white flower on top of the ashes. He kneeled and picked it up and dropped it back to the ashes. 'find him' he thought. 'find the bastard and make him pay' France quickly stood up and turned around, only to see the person he was looking for right behind him. Arthur Kirkland. England. The nation that France raised, yet the child became ungrateful and waged war on him for the succession for the French throne. France felt himself form a fist with his hand. He looked at England. The young man, roughly around 12-13 at this point, had his eyebrows furrowed together._

_"Francis I don't know what to say" he began. "I'm sorry-" before England could finish his sentence, he was thrown to the ground an pinned down._

_"HOW COULD YOU!" France screamed as he threw punches at him. "WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?" he yelled. England laid down silently on the pavement. He just took the punches. France was getting mad. Why isn't the brat punching back? Why isn't he punching? Why isn't he defending himself, why isn't he yelling back? The questions kept coming to France's mind. He cursed and muttered and kept throwing punches at the English nation._

_"WHAT HAS SHE EVER DONE TO YOU?" he yelled as he punched England in the guts. He stopped when he heard England groan. France got up and distanced himself from the English boy._

_"Is that all?" England asked. France glared at him. "she has not done anything to me Francis" England said. "She was merely an enemy who got captured and died. I know that she didn't deserve it, but what can I do?" he asked as he dusted himself off. France glared at him. "I mean it not like I can reverse time and change my people's mind-"_

_"It's over" France said as he interrupted England. "It's over I don't ever want to be near you, I want you to stay away from me" France hissed. England stopped dusting himself and averted France's gaze. He smiled a smile that France had never seen before._

_"so it's over between us" England said as he looked at the other direction. "I'm sorry Francis, listen I didn't mean for this to happen"_

_"You didn't mean for me to find her tied up on s stake being burned to death?" France asked._

_"no I mean that I didn't mean for her to die" England said._

_"It's not going to change a thing" France said. England froze. Sapphire eyes met emerald ones. "Jeanne made me realize how much of a monster you are" France hissed. "No wonder Scotland, Wales and Ireland detests you, you ruin their lives, you take away their love ones" France hissed. "You took away Britannia to them" France said. "If she didn't come running after you, Rome would've never gotten her and she would've live, but no, you were out in the open chasing a rabbit, because what, he was your friend?" France cursed at himself for using those against England. He knew England so well that he knew which buttons to push to make the boy cry. Yet, England would just smile at him, that peculiar smile that he swore he's seen before, but he couldn't remember when and what circumstances. "I hate you" France muttered. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you" he repeated. "I don't even know why I chose to be with you anymore" France said. "You disgust me, your food, your habit, your storied of random fairies" France paused and looked at England, he was still smiling that smile._

_"I hate it all" he whispered as he turned around. "It's over, I don't ever want to see at my house, get your things and move out" France hissed as he ran to the crowd._

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><p>France opened his eyes from the memory. There he found himself, on the encasement window with Italy in his arms. He was a small drop of tears escape from his younger brother's eyes. He sighed. He then looked at the starry sky. He hated this feeling. The feeling of guilt and the feeling of sadness.<p>

"Is this how you felt like?" France asked himself. "When you killed Jeanne, is this how you felt like? Did you feel guilty? Did you regret it?" France asked. "Did you feel the sense of self loath?" He asked. "Were my cried deafening to you? Did they hurt your ears like no other sound?" France asked.

"I've been to cruel to you Angleterre" France sighed. "I broke your heart for the first time, betrayed you by siding with Scotland, betrayed you by supporting America… for what? Just because I wanted you to feel the pain I felt? The feeling of losing someone important and feeling completely useless? France asked. "I'm too cruel" France smiled. A sudden memory flashed in his mind. It was England smiling at Scotland after a beating because of something he did. It was the smile for 'I'm-sorry-for-getting-you-mad-I-know-it's-my-fault" France hugged Italy tighter. He was happy to know that he did not receive the cruel treatment that he gave England. He was happy that Italy forgave him, but he also felt horrible.

"Angleterre, I hope you can forgive me" he muttered. "I've been too cruel to you" he said. "I hope you can give me another chance" he whispered.

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><p><strong>uh...what did I just write? side story-<strong>

**I was working on government homework...and I don't know, along the lines of history and I kept connecting the American government with the English government (similarity wise), and I honestly think I might fail because...it's American Govt...but I don't really like politics...I just know how it works because of history... and then I got sidetracked by looking up other historical info-ANYWAYS. **

** dissolution of the HRE, around Napoleon's time, the King of HRE abdicated, and things went into a downhill from there, I will post the accurate things when I wake up, my mind is throwing random historical facts at me right now. I'm so sorry. **

**2. Jeanne's death. Yes she died via burned tied to a stake (yeah I have fear of fire too). She died in France, but that part 'belonged' to England for that time. **

**I might have an epilogue for this, I don't know. Tell me your thoughts about the story (flames are fine...I mean I did write about HRE being dead...an idea usually rejected by my own friends, and HRE-Germany has a lot of theories). Please leave a comment/ review. questions? pm me and I shall get back to you. **

**oh and I'M SORRY FRANCE FANS. I kinda wrote him being mean here..never did like writing him as a mean character, especially towards England (being a FrUK fan...though SpUK beats it from time to time.) **


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